It's about 1am, and I'm feeling severely dehydrated which spurred my decision to down a generic ice-cream sandwich I found in the freezer with the vain hopes of it quenching my thirst. It didn't. I'm still thirsty, so why not write a blog post about my delirious morning thoughts.
Thunder is roaring outside, and rain is making the pleasant sound it does alongside the flashes and booms (which isn't helping my case for thirst).
Still, the main thought intercepting all thoughts thoughts of mine currently is this one: why on earth can't I focus my mind on one blasted thing at a time?
It's hard to verbalize, but I keep thinking about a quote or line I heard about Emma Woodhouse (it's amazing how engrained these classics are in my mushy mind) never being able to set her mind on one task or talent, thus making her mediocre in all things rather than great at one single thing.
Goodness forbid I compare myself to a starlet of English Literature, but what I'm trying to get to is this: I can't focus on one thing, one skill, one hobby. In high school I wanted to be a blogger, a writer, a designer. Presently, after years of fiddling with most hobbies I've had a relative interest in, I still can't decide. Can't narrow it down. I flit from one hobby to the other depending on what my eye lands on in Pinterest that day. Awful, isn't it?
Thankfully, there is a freedom for experimentation that comes with college, but I feel after years, it's time to hone in on a single thing. I want to diligently pursue one thing so I can actually, finally, fantastically do one thing marginally well.
Maybe I just need to unplug and start really thinking about what I want to do rather than look at others are doing. I don't know.
Perhaps I'm doomed to Emma Woodhouse's fate of mediocrity. Then comes the question of why I fear mediocrity so much?
That one's for another post, though.
This thirst is quite unbearable.