5.29.2015

Thirsty thoughts.


It's about 1am, and I'm feeling severely dehydrated which spurred my decision to down a generic ice-cream sandwich I found in the freezer with the vain hopes of it quenching my thirst. It didn't. I'm still thirsty, so why not write a blog post about my delirious morning thoughts.

Thunder is roaring outside, and rain is making the pleasant sound it does alongside the flashes and booms (which isn't helping my case for thirst).

Still, the main thought intercepting all thoughts thoughts of mine currently is this one: why on earth can't I focus my mind on one blasted thing at a time?

It's hard to verbalize, but I keep thinking about a quote or line I heard about Emma Woodhouse (it's amazing how engrained these classics are in my mushy mind) never being able to set her mind on one task or talent, thus making her mediocre in all things rather than great at one single thing.

Goodness forbid I compare myself to a starlet of English Literature, but what I'm trying to get to is this: I can't focus on one thing, one skill, one hobby. In high school I wanted to be a blogger, a writer, a designer. Presently, after years of fiddling with most hobbies I've had a relative interest in, I still can't decide. Can't narrow it down. I flit from one hobby to the other depending on what my eye lands on in Pinterest that day. Awful, isn't it?

Thankfully, there is a freedom for experimentation that comes with college, but I feel after years, it's time to hone in on a single thing. I want to diligently pursue one thing so I can actually, finally, fantastically do one thing marginally well.

Maybe I just need to unplug and start really thinking about what I want to do rather than look at others are doing. I don't know.

Perhaps I'm doomed to Emma Woodhouse's fate of mediocrity. Then comes the question of why I fear mediocrity so much?

That one's for another post, though.

This thirst is quite unbearable.

10 comments:

  1. ha, my college days are long over, and I still can't decide. and that's ok. not everything works for everybody. some of us take every possible detour and stop for every possible distraction. but I hear your frustration. I get that too sometimes xo

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    1. I have a feeling I will be wrestling with this problem for the rest of my life (which in a way is alright, because I don't want to give up all of my hobbies for one). Oh well. It's hard to explain. Thanks for your words, Petra!

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  2. I related to this post so much!!!..... I feel I am a walking example for that phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none." ......can I be happy with the fact I have attempted so many things, but never finished (learning a language, completing a piano concert movement) ?

    I don't know what to do with myself....but I'll be your friend in it!!

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    1. Yes, yes, let's be friends in this together, dear Sarah! You are so very talented, and there's good with the bad, because dabbling is pretty stinkin' fun. ;)

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  3. oh man, i feel you. i have so many hobbies and i go through phases with them. it's so frustrating, but at the same time i really like having the passion for so many things.

    definitely feel you on this, though!

    xx, rn

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    1. They can feel like phases for sure, that constantly repeat, hah. There are a lot of pros and cons to that, for sure.

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  4. My goodness I love your writing and musings. And I can completely relate! Photography, piano, literature, writing? How can I love one more than another? I'll pray that you'll find your 'true calling'. :) xxx

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    1. Thank you, for your words and prayers, dear Acacia! xo.

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  5. oh my, and here I sit wishing I was better at flitting. We all have strengths and weakness', don't we. Oft, our strength is also our weakness. God has graced you with wondrous talents to shine His light and love to those around you. Keep pressing on and use your strengths to build on your character. Everything is for a purpose, "Everyone that is called by my name; for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him." (Isaiah 43:7)
    Keep your chin up, girl. you have a cheering section that's got your back. :)
    the bumble.e

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    1. Thank you, dearest Ellie (bumble.e)! You are a gem, and so very encouraging. Love you.

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Your comments inspire me.