12.11.2014

The growing workplace.

After countless pins onto my dream workplace board on pinterest, I have finally begun to create my very own reality. With the help of my dad's carpentry skills, we were able to purchase some lumber and shelf brackets at home depot and put these up last week. They already cut the wood into two pieces at home depot, so all I did was spray paint the brackets gold (I have learned that gold spray paint is my new favorite thing) when we got home. Normal people shouldn't be this happy because of some wooden shelves, but I've learned to accept I'm not normal.

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And to set myself apart from all those perfectionists on pinterest, I decided to leave my desk as messy as it ever is. But just to keep it real, it's usually much, much worse.

The reality that is my life lately has been extremely unsettling. I feel like I'm watching myself make jewelry, paint, and decorate, but that I'm somehow separate from this person who is trying very hard to become an artist. This dejected feeling arose poignantly when I realized last week at college orientation that I will probably be in school for at least three more years in order to get my degree. A four year degree turned five years long due to having to be a transfer student.

For the first time in my life, I have begun to question education. The importance of getting a degree eludes me as I see the years of work stretching before me -- repeat classes, unsettling critiques, being measured against other artists with an ugly ruler.

I wish I could just hit fast forward and graduate.

I know there's a reason for this next chapter in my life. Whether it be graduating or not graduating; becoming an artist or not. I feel more uncertain than ever. And for the first time, I think I'm going to be trudging through. But we all need to do a little trudging once in a while.

Have any of you readers felt this way about school? I'm truly interested in your thoughts.

14 comments:

  1. yes. i have a bit. it's a sad place to be. but keep trudging, because when it's over you'll be all the stronger for it, and you'll look back and wonder why you had those silly thoughts. don't regret them, or look at them as bad things, it's life, and life should be spent looking forward and applying the present. learn from the trials and mistakes, but don't live in them.

    also, beautiful space!

    xo, rn

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    1. I can't wait for the day I look back and laugh at myself for these thoughts. Thanks for the thoughtful words, Rachel. :)

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  2. HOW PRETTY IS THIS. I fell love with this post before I clicked on it (saw the picture on my blogger dashboard and was like ahhh).

    On a more serious note, for the past few months I've been going through EXACTLY what you wrote about -- should I stay at university? Is it worth it? Can I just fast-forward to year 3 please? As you said, we DO need trudging. Struggles can make us stronger if we let them. Looking back in thirty years, I'll probably be glad I studied at university. There's a world of learning, adventure, experience in academic environments -- even thought it doesn't always feel that way!

    What degree are you doing and how far are you into it? I'm thinking about transferring into Visual Arts (looks like something you may be studying?) and would love to hear your thoughts on it!

    xxx

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    1. Acacia, you're the best.

      Ahhh, it's so relieving to have someone who understands this strange feeling. I've been studying graphic design for the past two years, and now I'm switching universities. I'm sticking to my major, but it's called communication design at my new school. I'm getting a BFA, but since transferring is complicated, I'll probably have to study an extra year in order to graduate. Which is why I'm very mad at college right now.

      What area of visual arts are you thinking about going into? I think you'd do wonderfully, if you do go into it! :)

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  3. "Normal people shouldn't be this happy because of some wooden shelves, but I've learned to accept I'm not normal." << BAHAHAHAHA. i just love your space so so much. it's so clean and yet quirky and gahh, i just adore it.

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    1. Thanks so much, marcia! Quirky is one of my favorite words =.

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  4. Mmmm I am falling in love with plain and simple wood....and I love your shelves...

    You can do it girly....Just take it one day at a time, and I'm sure as you put one foot in front of the other the path will be made clearer.....I love you!

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    1. Yes, plain wood is beautiful! And thanks for always being there, friend. I love you, too.

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  5. The shelf (well done!) and your workplace looks great! I definitely relate to your feelings about education. It's so important but not as important as following your own heart and instincts. Hope you'll find some clarity soon :)

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    1. I was actually surprised with how well they turned out. Mostly thanks to my dad, not me. ;) Thank you for the kind words.

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  6. i love it! it's coming together so nicely. i have a dream workspace on pinterest too... i just have to get the energy to get to it!

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    1. Thanks! And definitely go for it! It's such a great feeling. And helps inspiration, as well.

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  7. It's been a long while since I read your blog . . . I didn't realize you had some new posts up! I can absolutely sympathize with you. I'm majoring in Communications Design and Industrial Design, and I'm also a transfer student. Dealing with transfer issues is a huge pain.

    I also think it's easy to experience a lot of doubt as a design/art major. There are always other students who are better, and there are always people who have discouraging and critical words to offer. Majoring in something that's so based on individual creativity has its own problems. For me, it's often hard to have professors dictating my creative process, and it's also easy to feel drained of inspiration or motivation. I'm personally hoping that Christmas break will help me re-charge, because I know I want to keep at it!

    None of this is particularly helpful . . . but I just wanted to say that I get what you're saying.

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    1. I so appreciate your comment, Lydia. You may not have had an answer to my confusion (I don't think anyone can really answer it with a sentence), but sharing your own experiences is definitely comforting, especially since it sounds like you've been through similar things.

      I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas break. I'm bracing myself for the Spring semester. ;)

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