After countless pins onto my dream workplace board on pinterest, I have finally begun to create my very own reality. With the help of my dad's carpentry skills, we were able to purchase some lumber and shelf brackets at home depot and put these up last week. They already cut the wood into two pieces at home depot, so all I did was spray paint the brackets gold (I have learned that gold spray paint is my new favorite thing) when we got home. Normal people shouldn't be this happy because of some wooden shelves, but I've learned to accept I'm not normal.
And to set myself apart from all those perfectionists on pinterest, I decided to leave my desk as messy as it ever is. But just to keep it real, it's usually much, much worse.
The reality that is my life lately has been extremely unsettling. I feel like I'm watching myself make jewelry, paint, and decorate, but that I'm somehow separate from this person who is trying very hard to become an artist. This dejected feeling arose poignantly when I realized last week at college orientation that I will probably be in school for at least three more years in order to get my degree. A four year degree turned five years long due to having to be a transfer student.
For the first time in my life, I have begun to question education. The importance of getting a degree eludes me as I see the years of work stretching before me -- repeat classes, unsettling critiques, being measured against other artists with an ugly ruler.
I wish I could just hit fast forward and graduate.
I know there's a reason for this next chapter in my life. Whether it be graduating or not graduating; becoming an artist or not. I feel more uncertain than ever. And for the first time, I think I'm going to be trudging through. But we all need to do a little trudging once in a while.
Have any of you readers felt this way about school? I'm truly interested in your thoughts.