eighteen.

Today I turned eighteen; and actually, I do feel a little different. Usually birthdays feel like any other day with the exception of a present or two and a bit of cake. However, eighteen is different, isn't it? It's looking back at all of those years of childhood and realizing that soon you'll need to carve an Alpine path for yourself. Pondering the girl of twelve, fourteen, sixteen -- it's hard to believe I have blazed through so many years. I remember reading what Madison said about turning eighteen over on her blog. It sums up so many of my feelings about this upcoming year.

The best part about turning eighteen, though, was the amazing surprise picnic my closest friends shocked me with. It was so incredible that I won't even begin to describe it from the fear I won't do it justice. Suffice it to say, British accents were in abundance, as were Austen quotes. The tea and dainty foods were perfect, as were our flowy dresses. It was a day I'll treasure forever, because of the friendship and love that filled me with thankfulness and joy.

Here's a peak into my afternoon.

And yes, my friends are incredibly beautiful!

A cup of jo

I don't drink coffee daily, but once in a while the craving does arise and I find myself in the kitchen spinning open the cap to the coffee jar and grinding a few coffee seeds to bits. There's something refreshing in the mixture when a bit of cream and sugar is mixed in. Oh, and then pair it with a muffin or bit of cake, and I'm swimming in happiness for the next hour.

I am not ignorant to the fact that some people think coffee tastes like dirt or something of that sort; so tell me, a cup of jo or no?

Also, for the past few weeks I have been wanting to do a vlog for you all, but I didn't know what to talk about (it can be so awkward talking into a camera. especially for me. i flounder badly). So I got inspired by Gracie's idea to do a video answering questions you blogger friends might ask me. Some of the questions she's getting are really interesting, so I'm excited.

Ask away!

Freckles.

This past week, a little seed sprouted in my mind, and it told me to get a houseplant. So while shopping over the weekend, mom and I picked up this little cutie. Her name's Freckles because she's a bit speckled. I personally think freckles are adorable and wish I had some. Oh well. I am also growing some basil seeds and have a small cilantro plant I'm nurturing.

Yesterday, in honor of the new roommates, I re-arranged my bedroom. The new arrangement is my  favorite one yet. I've now got a window seat when I do school, positioned perfectly so that Freckles and the rest of the gang are situated next to me.

Hope everyone had as happy a weekend as I did.

Jeans and heels

shirt: marks & spencer's // jeans: hurley // heels: my moms // belt: toscano // necklace: malaysia

It's ironic how as a child, I would look at some of my mom's clothes and think to myself, "I don't think I'd ever wear that," and now I find myself often digging through her closet often to borrow a shirt or scarf. I have come to admire many of her belts and cardigans and am beginning to realize that her fashion sense is isn't half so bad after all. It's actually very good.

Oh, and jeans with heels? In love. Although I'll probably tower over half of the people in Wal-Mart tomorrow if I pull it off. Hah.

P.S. Photos by Mikey and Mom. Love you guys.

The girl of nine.

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. -Betty Bender

"The tall, shy girl." That was my name for the greater part of elementary school. I always cried the first day of school, rarely talked in class, and dreaded forgetting my homework. Looking back at those memories makes me smile now because of the kiddish way my mind would process those situations. It's curious to think of the girl I used to be.

Kindergarten was running away every recess from "cooties." In first grade, I remember watching the boys race around the field and wanting to join because I was something of a tomboy and extremely competitive. It was also that year that I found my "twin" of a friend, though looking back, we didn't look anything alike; I remember she gave me a blue bear eraser which I kept for a ridiculous five years as a keepsake because she left. Then there was second grade, which is very hazy and doesn't have pleasant memories. Third grade things began looking up. My teacher wanted me to join the "gifted and talented" class the smart kids went to; but knowing me, I was petrified of not being smart enough and cried when I got home that day. Let's just say, I didn't end up joining. In fourth grade I remember a pack of my friends and I teamed together to wear the same outfits everyday; we'd proudly stare across at the fifth graders with our noses pointed high, though our plan probably lasted a meagre two days. In fifth grade, I became enraptured with gymnastics; every recess, I would run to the monkey bars and learn a new trick until my hands got sore and red, covered in huge blisters. Though all of those years of school, I was terrified of speaking with anyone besides my friends, fearful of standing out in some weird way, or of even being noticed.

Just typing all of this out makes me extremely nostalgic. It was so many years ago, and I am such a different person from the tall, shy girl of nine. All those insecurities that held on to me slowly began to drop away over the years; I cannot say I'm not fearful of certain things still, but it's a different sort of feeling now.

I finally found a place to put my confidence in around twelve years old, and it was in Jesus Christ. I learned a healthy fear, which is the fear of God, not of people. I still struggle with talking in groups and being relaxed with others, but I remember the quote my older brother once shared with me. I can't remember who said it any more, but it goes like this: "if you're scared of something, you should do it so you will stop being fearful of it." It almost became a lifestyle for me. I tried to challenge myself to conquer the fears that held me back, and I'm glad for all of the opportunities I have been given over the years to stretch myself.

My, this life is a crazy growing experience, and I know someday I'll look back at this girl of seventeen and shake my head at how silly my thoughts were, just like I do now over that girl of nine; but I am excited for the journey.

How about you?

P.S. I know the pictures of an orange smoothie have nothing to do with this; but I just thought you should know, this way my lunch today -- and it was soooo good.

Watercolors and brushes

I cleared the clutter off the the table, removed the table cloth, and arranged my supplies accordingly. It had been so long since my last painting session; and boy, was I ever rusty. You see, it was all that typography on pinterest inspired me to attempt some art. Let's just say, I need a lot of practice; but I am excited about attempting it again. Design and graphics is fascinating, and I really admire people who are able to piece color and witty words and pictures together into something enchanting.

A few things I've been obsessing over? First of, The Avett Brothers. Ah, so many of their songs are so good. It's hard to choose, but my favorites by them are I and Love and You and I Would Be Sad . Oh, and I suppose I ought to thank my older brother for introducing them to me; you're pretty cool sometimes, big bro. Then there's this video I found called Sea Cave. Everything about it is sort of amazing. Watch it; yup, you're welcome. It's really inspiring me to make a video of my own (soon).

 

 

P.S. If you haven't yet heard, I am giving away a hexagon locket from the shop over here. Go on and check it out; you just might win.

Hand-stamped bag.

There's something about hand-stamped and screen printing that's been catching my fancy lately; and when that happens, I know I have to give it a spin. So the other day I brought out the acrylic paint, foam stamp, fabric, and mustered up some creative thinking. Of course, I was totally and undeniably inspired by the amazing tutorial over at A Beautiful Mess.  However, instead of a dress, I choose to decorate a tote bag in-the-making. It's been in that sad transition-making stage for quite a while, so it's a good thing I finally finished it up.

Here's what I did.

Leave it to me to forget that if I stamped all the cats the same direction, on one of side the bag they'd be upside down. Well, there you have it, two totally different bags. Alright, I at least realized it half-way through, but at that point, there was no turning back. So on one side, it's a cat bag! On the other...it's sort of looks like a space ship! It's called art, people. And, at least you get to learn from my mistakes.

I had tons of fun making it, though; and I do believe I'll be trying it again soon. How about you?

The hazy phase.

Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Alva Edison

The days have been blurring together; and my ability to be productive in many areas has been on a slow downhill curve. Blogging has been on the list of downhill curve activities, which is probably obvious due to my sudden disappearance. Let's just say, my life has morphed into a piece of abstract art.

Sleeping in, pajama's most days, unquenchable messiness, and tons of hazy thinking (oh, and lots of amazing friend-time). Rarely doing. It's a weird phase, after what seems to have been months of work. However, I'm glad for all of the diverse sections in life; it's nice to go through something different, and be pushed out of the monotonous. It's helping me to decide what I want to do with myself. Do I really want to sit around and be lazy most days? Nah.

I think I'll go do something now.

Banana yellow pants.

shirt: target // pants: target // shoes: my mom's // bag: a gift // necklace: etsy

Last weekend, Mom and I wandered through stores, filling up our shopping cart with odds and ends. It was a day I had been looking forward to all week. There's something special about meandering through aisles together, looking for ribbon and pots and facial cleanser. I treasure those moments more then is probably normal.

The best part was our trek through Target, though. "Colored jeans" was on my list of things to buy, so the racks of bright colored pants transformed me into a kid in a candy store. I took about five pairs of pants into the dressing room and came out with these comfy yellow ones. Dramatic much? I think yes. My sense of style has really been transforming the past few months. I'm enjoying this journey, though; and my life is getting a bit more -- colorful.

How do you feel about colored jeans?

Sweet serenity

Yesterday was one of those days; the ones you don't really ever forget. The best way I can describe it is by taking myself back to the words I scribbled into my journal as I rested in the shade on my beach towel:

"I can't even describe how beautifully clear the water is. It's aqua, turquoise, and crystal in all the right places, with a slight greenish hue flickering below as the white sand and blue water mix. Oh, the weather is -- making me sigh. I've been to this beach many times; but I kid you not, when I walked towards the shore and caught glimpses of the water through the trees & shrubs, I was overcome. The breeze brushed past my cheek, the salty air filled my lungs, and the horizon was speck-free. Water gently lapped the sand, forming frothy peaks around childrens' feet. The sun caressed the sand and broke through the shade in leopard spots. My heart, at this moment, would not want to be anywhere else. Here, for an hour or two, I will bask in happiness and pray -- I will thank God for this gift of beauty."

And then later on:

"The water had not been this clear for months (note: since I'd last been there); I can see the hazy shadows of the rocks beneath the surface; snorkelers air shafts poke up everywhere, and I imagine the school of fish they are chasing after underwater -- I've seen the spot before. A motor boat blazes past, appearing to ride on the top of the horizon, what I will call this moment -- the edge of the world, because for a little while, this will be my world."

 P.S. I went on a rampage and tweaked the blog's design. Thoughts?