1.31.2011

A Don Moen Song

Recently, I've been humming this tune during the day, eating up the words whenever I remember it. My mom used to play Don Moen songs when we would clean our house on Saturdays, so his songs will always hold a sentimental place in my heart. However, I really have fallen in love with these words. They speak the yearning of my heart. I just want to be with Him.

"I just want to be where You are,
Dwelling daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
Draw me near to where You are

I just want to be where You are,
In Your dwelling place forever
Take me to the place where You are,
I just want to be with You

I want to be where You are,
Dwelling in Your presence
Feasting at Your table,
Surrounded by Your glory
In Your presence,
That's where I always want to be
I just want to be,
I just want to be with You

I just want to be where You are,
To enter boldly in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
Draw me near to where You are."

Perfect Strangers

You see, I am perfectly kind to a perfect stranger. I speak nicely, smile slightly, give them the benifit of the doubt about anything conroversial they might say, and am all-too helpful. Say you meet someone in church; you know, those visitors that always arrive occasionally.
They're respectable looking people, and after striking up a lively dialouge, you are inequivocaly kind, aren't you? They accidentally step on your toes, you smile, hold back a squeal, and say "Oh, it's all right." They drop something, you try to pick it up first. They ask for a pen, you run around the church looking for one if you don't have one on you.

Somehow, we are all-too-kind to people we barely know. At least I know I am.

To people we have just met, we desire to appear as proper Christians. Our politeness is unmatched, our jokes hilarious, our smile unceasing. All because we hope to shed Christ's love into their lives. A very noble, Biblical ambition.

Now let us move into the home. Our house. Your younger brother steps on your toes, you shriek, smack him on the head, and complain for the next ten minutes straight. Your Dad drops his glasses, you stand and watch him pick them up, not even thinking of doing it for him. Your mom asks if anyone has seen her keys and goes running around the house while you sit and continue reading your book as if nothing had happened.

So my question is, why are we kindest to those we love least?

I love my mother, father, and brothers more than any other people in the world. Hands down. That's just how it is. Yet, I am at times crueler to them than I am to any other people in the world.

Why isn't my desire to shed Christ's love into other people's lives most eager in the arena of my home? It is so easy to brush off family as people who don't need our kindness, help, and politeness.

However, I begin to feel that we should be most polite to our parents and most helpful to our siblings.

I am not saying we shouldn't be considerate to strangers, because we should be a good witness to other Christians and non-believers. However, I think we should be kindest to those we love most. We should aspire to be the best witnesses we can to our own family members.

Shouldn't we?

High Heels

Last Saturdy I purchased my first pair of high heels. When I first put them on in the store, I was literally tottering, but after some practice at home I've fairly completed the "be-careful-or-you'll-break-your-ankle" stage. I don't know what it is about these quirky heels that caught my eye, but I love them!
Now all I have to do is learn how to bare the pain that all heels tend to inflict upon poor feet.

 


1.27.2011

Shadow Posts


My blog has been rather dry the past few weeks, but I hope to finally start updating a bit more regularly in the near future. The truth is, I have a list of things I want to write about on here which I have had stored in my mind. However, time slips away so quickly everyday, I never get to do what I really want to.
So here goes. Time to finally reveal a few of my thoughts, and not be a shadow.

1.22.2011

Guitar

Mom and I had a fun photoshoot today outside, and since I told Nathan I'd send him a few of the pictures, I decided to make a simple bloggie post out of them :)




1.14.2011

Old Poem

(This is a very old poem I dug up from an old computer file. It's really choppy, and you will probably have to read it a few times before you can understand it. Keep in mind I use a weird, playwright-sort-of-style when the men are talking.)

"A War to Win"

There they sit one by one
Each bearing his own gun,
In the soggy trenches
With bodies for their benches.

None have escaped the crimson stain
Which from above rains
Upon their ashen faces:
Every man’s heart races.

Hands tremble when cries ring
From above; feet scampering,
To escape from earthly hell
And the whistling bomb shells.

They shoot, aim, fire,
Their fingers never tire
Of their ghastly mission.
Every man tries not to listen
To the screams above, oh, but emotions must be shoved.

“My shoulder, my shoulder!”
Tim yells, looking ten years older.
Scott frowns, “Sit down, cease that fire!”
Tim: “No, I’ll never stop till I tire.”

Tim continued on faithfully
Until his next wound took him fatally.
Scott: “Where on earth is love in this hellish place?”
Jim: “In war love has no space.”

Nate: “No, you are wrong, do not we fight for,
Our family’s freedom in this war?”
Scott: “Yes, our countries freedoms, our countries rights
Is why every man stands up and every man fights.”

Cries for help echo on the field
From men begging for God’s shield.
And lover’s names slipping from their lips
As death, their heart grips.
Goodbye brave man, goodbye brave heart, go, a new life to start.

Nate: “Farewell, mates, I’m leaving this place
And am going to start this fateful death race.”
He jumped up and scooted out of the ditch,
His face as dark as asphalt and pitch.


But Scott grabbed his arm and pulled him in
The trench to keep him from suicide—sin—
Scott: “No, Nate, you’ll make my heart sore
If you die during this war.”

Nate: “We’re all going to die, my dear friend.”
Then he jumped out and ran to his gory end.
And after him at least thirty more,
Ran to death and entered heaven’s door.

Jim: “He never met his child—and, oh, his wife!—”
Scott: “Such a good man!—Such a sad life!”
Jim: “He was a good man, pure in the soul,
But we must look ahead: freedom’s our goal.”

Scott tucked his Bible beneath his chin,
Repenting for his each and every sin.
As men fell beside him, at the left and the right,
Their eyes screaming their fear and their fright.
Knowing they were to die before night, there was no hope with morning light.

“A cannon! A cannon!” A man yelled.
In the heart was Scott shelled.
Jim: “Do not die, my dear man!”
He pressed on the wound with his hand.

Scott: “The pain is not so great as the relief.
Dear friend Jim, I am saved by my belief.”
His uniform was soon stained with red,
And there was made his poor death bed.

Just one more mother to loose a son,
Just one more life lost to have a war won.
Just one more life taken from a man,
Just one more life lost in a sea of sand.

Jim: “You were a strong soul and a good mate,
But I promised you that I’d never hate.”
Then he picked up his gun and continued to fight
Though he knew that he’d die before night.
Yet his heart was strong for his countries name: as his friends, his death was the same.


Before the day was done thousands were killed,
Before the light returned, their places were filled.
To be given, life must be taken.
To have freedom, the world must be shaken.

On that day heaven had many men to take in:
All of this for a war to win.