3.31.2011

Birthday Post

So today's my birthday. I'm officially 17 years old which means I finally get to change "I am sixteen going on seventeen" to "I am seventeen going on eighteen" in my profile information. Wait, scratch that, I take it back; it's too scary to think about turning eighteen, so I'm going to stick with seventeen for a while.

In all honesty, though, this is going to be a serious blog post. Because, in all honesty, do you want to know what I was thinking about today? No, do you honestly want to know? Well, here goes, and I'm ashamed to admit this, but here goes: Honestly, I was thinking about how many of my "friends" on facebook were going to write Happy Birthday on my wall.

That's the honest, disgusting, self-centered, selfish, diabolical, stinky, shameful truth (and whatever other degrading words you want to add into the deal).

Now, I know that thinking about facebook friends writing birthday wishes on my wall is okay. There's nothing wrong with being happy that someone wishes you happy birthday. It's just the way I was thinking about it. It's the fact that I was comparing myself other people. It's the fact that if I didn't get enough people to wish me happy birthday on facebook, I wasn't worth anything. I didn't have a great life. I didn't have "friends."

Then I realized I really wasn't worth anything. I'm a sinful, useless, dumb person; and the only reason I ever could call myself worthy of righteousness is because of an all-powerful, gracious, breathtaking, merciful, amazing, loving Savior (and all the other glorious words you want to throw into the deal). So, actually, it wasn't really of those other reasons above, but more that I "loved the praise of men more than the praise of God" (John 12:43. I somehow magically fogot completely that Jesus Christ is the greatest gift I could ever receive (Why do I always forget that?). His gifts of forgiveness of my sins and of His Holy Spirit which guides me are more precious gifts than anything I can ever imagine or desire.

His good wishes don't come for me just on the day I was born, but everyday, and every moment of each day. He's the greatest present I could ever receive (yes, I'm repeating myself).

He gives more satisfaction than all the facebook birthday wishes combined (which are beginning to look really empty and worthless at this point).

As I kept pondering it, I began to think of other people around the world. People who don't have food to eat, shelter, or love in their lives; people who have no idea what a birthday present or facebook was. Then here I was, sitting in my bedroom, staring at my computer screen, wondering how many friends on facebook were going to post on my wall. Talk about a sharp blow.

I thank God for those moments, though. Those moments when you realize how worthless you are, and how much you need Him.

So, basically, this is me being transparent, and it's uncomfortable, to be honest. I don't usually write posts like this, but I just thought I'd share it, since it is my birthday, and God gave me a gift. The gift of growing a little closer to Him, and learning to hate this selfish nature within me.

Honestly, that moment today was the best birthday present I received.

9 comments:

  1. *hugs*

    That was a sweet post. God will bless you for being transparent. It is hard at times, but the more you do it the better you get.

    Praise the Lord for His alpowerful love right?

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  2. Love it! I know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm pretty sure last year for my birthday I felt something similar. Ew, it's so shallow, huh!

    (This is where I squeeze in and say I highly recommend taking a FB fast.. :))

    But I love your honesty and humility in sharing your feelings and thoughts AND I'm glad God used it for something good in the end. :)

    You should check out this blog from Lies Young Women Believe: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=697

    It talks about the good 'ol Facebook. You might find it helpful. :)

    Anywhooo! Happy birthday! Enjoy being 17. :)May God use you in incredible ways in this next year of your life!

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  3. Happy BIRTHDAY Miss Kimberly!!!! ♥

    And I know what you mean, but always remember how amazingly special you are because of Jesus Christ. Yes, without Jesus we are nothing but with Him, we have new life!

    Thank you for such a special post, and for encouraging me as to just whose I am and whose you are. Jesus Christ's! =D

    Praise God for that!!!

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  4. Ahhh, same thing happened to me too. The last few years, I was so excited about how many wall posts I was getting and things like that...But this year, it didn't quite matter as much. And you're right, most of them are shallow anyway. : ) Thanks for being honest and sharing your heart. And happy birthday!!!

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  5. Happy Birthday, Kimberly. I hope your special day was everything you wanted it to be. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...Mary

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  6. Thank you so much, Ashley!

    Rachel, the website was great. Thanks for sharing and for the birthday wishes. :)

    Laura, thank you for the sweet comment!

    MaryAnna, thank you for sharing about that.

    Mary, thanks for the birthday wishes! ;)

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  7. Hehe.. sis. What a post! Don't forget to remember why God loves you so much, just as must as why He wants to free you from your selfish sin. Its a hard question for me, but remember that Jesus died for you while you were still a sinner, which means He saw your value(He made you) and you are so valuable!!- "you are seventeen going on eighteen..." Love you sis
    Nathan

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  8. Nothing wrong with desiring affirmation and acknowledgements from your peers even if it's through Facebook. A healthy dose of it is certainly required at your age. God expresses His Love to you very often through friends and family. Your worth never goes up or down where God is concerned. You're always precious and priceless to HIM. His Love for you and the value He places on you never changes....in Christ, you're priceless. How does one put a price or value on immortality? And you received immortality through Christ. Hallelujah!!

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  9. Hehe, Nathie, thanks for the wise words. Love you...! And miss you. :):

    Oh, and thank you, unusual, anonymous person who is not anonymous to me! ;D

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