Days, months, years, they are in front of you one moment and vanish behind you the next. This year has been such a haze of events I can't quite get the order of them correct most of the time. I remember at the beginning of they year I was in my sophomore year, doing school with two brothers I love dearly and having the time of my life. Then time came and snatched one of them away, and now those days don't even seem like a tangible reality. I can hardly remember what life was like when it was not just Michael and I.
Memory has never been one of my strong points. Forgetfulness is one of my weaknesses. Which is why writing those moments down while I am still in them is one of the wisest things I can do in life. Only yesterday I opened up one of my journals and started to read the contents from six months past.
Six months. That doesn't sound like a long time. It never did to me, anyway.
However, as I read those words it felt like an age ago. That was how life was? Those were my thoughts? I flipped through more and more. Memories which had been shelved away in the dark recesses of my mind came to life again. I felt like I could go back to the old "me" and ponder how I had changed. But analyzing myself was not as exciting as viewing the miracles of God in every area of my life. His fingerprints were everywhere.
Journaling is not only a place to record events and to vent emotions to God, but it is also a way to chronicle your life with all it's valleys and mountain peaks. I rejoice over the mountain peaks, but I am even more grateful for the valleys. The time when I grow most in life is when I am torn to pieces and receiving all my strength from my All-Powerful God.
James 1: 2-4 "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
2 Cor. 12:9 "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness'....."
Memories are like dragonflies. They flutter away in an instant. Still we can record them, and though they might not be as brilliant as the real dragonfly was, we can content ourselves with our plastic ones. They are a pitiful imitation of what our feelings really were at the moment, but when we read back on them, those plastic dragonflies just might come back to life.