1.02.2010

Big Brothers

It was the day before the due date, and I was scrambling to finish my story which I was going to enter. After a major plot change, it had taken me several hours to finally have my story just the way I wanted it, yet this sudden upgrade had cost me peace of mind...
I was panicking as I got my story in the right format, paid the entry fee, and got all of my information together. It seemed like I would never make it and time was waxing thin. We had to leave soon!
...stress, stress, stress...
Although, looking back, I probably could have taken my time, at that moment, every second seemed precious, and the anxiety that I might type something incorrectly was driving me crazy: thus my bad mood.
I was barking at everyone. "Why isn't this working!!" I cried for the thousandth time. Nothing was going well. It seemed like I was pre-destined to fail.
"Oh! Why hadn't I entered my story earlier instead of waiting until the last minute!"
The story of my life.
Finally, after minutes of toil, it was over and we were driving off the Ohana group. I was still fuming, and out of anger, "I'd better win that thoudand bucks," I laughed, thinking of all the frustration I'd just gone through.
Nathan smiled, "I'll pray that you do, and that whatever happens it's----"
"It's in God's will," I interrupted as we both said it simultaneously. It seemed we had been
saying that a lot lately.
"Yeah," Nathan continued, "or if you don't win, hopefully someone will who really needs the money."
"Yeah," I sighed as my heart was slowly pierced with his words and my conscience.
Why couldn't I think like that? Why couldn't I be selfless, just for once in my life?
Thank you, Nathan, for teaching me lessons I could never teach myself.

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