12.06.2009

The (un)certainty of faith

Since yesterday I've been thinking about the word faith and how much I've been lacking in it. Although I know how important it is to have faith, I must admit, I've been scared to really step out...to have faith in such a powerful way that I would have complete and utter trust in God.
Faith in God in not an ordinary, mediocre way, but, rather, a way that would cause me to live everyday differently.
In a way that would cause me to say, "I don't care what's going to happen to me; I don't care what tomorrow holds. I'm just going to live for You. Each and every day."
That would mean throwing away everything I've been thinking about for college...
Of course, I haven't really gotten that far in the college area, yet I have been clinging to the hope of certain things.
I've been trying to lay out some sort of plan so that I won't be living in complete uncertainty in that area.
And, now, suddenly, living complete and utter faith in that area would also mean living in complete and utter insecurity. It would mean throwing out every plan I've ever had for life.

And then there is always the argument that although you would be living in bleak uncertainty, if you had faith it would be more like stepping out into the Light--it would mean having peace.
And, in a way, it would mean finally having the worrying taken away because you'd be giving it to God.
And wouldn't that mean finally having complete certainty--certainty that God is taking care of everything you've been worrying about?
Of course, that's just one area of [my] life.

I remember that verse Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who dillegently seek Him."
Without faith it is impossible to please God...
I guess God knew that none of us would have a map to follow in life. All of us don't know anything about what tomorrow holds.
And that's why He said we have to have faith.

In a sense, living in complete uncertainty, but, in a spiritual way, living a life in complete Light.

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