5.14.2009

Unexplainable

Crouching into a dark corner, I tucked my legs closer, coming into the position you form when jumping into a pool with the intention of making a huge splash and usually yelling: "Cannon ball!!!"
I gazed around the room. Not a sound was heard, not a living thing in sight. With a shudder, I shoved myself deeper into the wall, wanting to have a better view of the barren room spread before me, somehow fearful that something living would appear.
Gloomy shadows grew on the walls and floor as time passed. I felt so cold. So unsure.
So alone.
Was alone a feeling? It must be: wasn't that the sensation diffused through my every nerve?
Nothing with living breath was near: nothing consoling in my reach. Nothing to sanely speak to or warm to touch.
I was desolate. I was fearful. I was alone. I could feel it.
Why was it that everywhere I went, I was a solitary? How had silence become my closest friend? At what time had desolation begun to whisper in my head and loneliness to echo through my mind?
Slowly, it had crept into my life, and, then, once within reach of me, it had pounced and suppressed. Fighting was vain, screaming was idle. Nothing was near: no one could hear. I was cut off from all communication.
Why fight the inevitable? Why make your wounds deeper? It was impossible, it was useless, everything reeked hopelessness, everything radiated despair.
Life was a black shadow, and within the shadow I sat alone: and alone had become my only feeling.

You now ask, what is the point of this? Some, who know me, may wonder why on earth I am writing these depressing, almost ridiculous words.
There is a reason: there is an explanation.

You see, a light suddenly beamed through the dark clouds that were causing the black shadow I sat within. Never had I realized that to create a shadow one needed light--and that light had burst, in all the glory of a sun beam, through the now radiant clouds, casting it's light upon me.
It washed away the darkness, and opened my eyes to see. Desolation and loneliness vanished at the presence of the Light. Silence was shattered by the sounds of multitudes of angels singing of the glory of the Light.
Light took away sin; Light took away fear; Light saved me from destruction, but, most of all, Light gave me a gift: a gift I never deserved.
Light placed into my heart a little bit of Itself. Light gave the Holy Spirit, enabling me to never ever be alone again.
Alone could never be a feeling again. Through the giving of this Gift, it could not exist: it was destroyed: it was not possible. Alone could never come near me.
Peace was now a friend, and relief a new sensation.
How unworthy I am! How sinful I am!
How glorious are you, the Light! How merciful are you, my Lord!

4 comments:

  1. Wow, this is an impressive article!! I loved it! You should collate all these and get it published!! You have the 'thing' for writing... deep stuff... explained in a beautiful way. It is original, right? :D

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  2. Aw! Thanks Auntie!! Yes, I wrote it all. I don't usually write like this, though. Usually I write short stories, but I do enjoy this style, too. Thank you, again :D

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  3. This was written beautifully, Kim. You're an inspiration. Thanks for sharing it! :)

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  4. aww, thank you, Pam. You guys are so encougraging...really...

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