Old with the new.

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New. A word I taste a lot lately. Eating at new restaurants, driving on new roads, sitting on new chairs, living in new places. Usually I love new things, but so many at once can get a bit tiresome and cause the heart to palpitate a bit more than is pleasant. 

The strange thing, I realized, while scrolling through photos, is that I have no new pictures to dwell on. And that with the new, I constantly chase the old. Old photoshoots, old places, old friends. In this new phase of life, I find myself looking back at what the old normal was in order to find myself within the chaos of so much change.

With the new comes a new feeling of anxiety, suspense, excitement, and confusion about the future. The unknown is something I feel I've been jumping into a lot more than is comfortable for the seemingly un-adventurous person I discover lives in me. The excitement that I chased on pinterest boards of "travel" and "wanderlust" have proven less romantic than the sun-goldened photographs I once stared in awe of.

The photographs above were taken what feels like an age ago. I turn to these whenever I want to imagine all the land around me as ocean and the unfamiliar faces are familiar.

I can only hope you see a glimmer of the happiness I see when I gaze into these.


A good monday.

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It's rare to have a good Monday, isn't it? Let's just say I haven't had one in what feels like an eternity, so I'm taking advantage of it today. It has been a while since Perry (my camera) emerged from his dusty bag, and to prove it I took a few snapshots around my apartment.

Also, I forgot how awkward selfies are, and also how difficult they are to achieve without a tripod. So forgive the over-bright window and strange angle.

It's been while.

On a side note, my life is pretty well summed up in these pictures because, omitting school, I am usually on my bed, drinking tea, or talking to my basil sprouts.

P.S. For a brief update, things here have been quite stressful, but Jesus is pretty awesome. 


an ocean of tears.

Lately, I've been lazy about seizing the power words produce. So just this moment, I don't want to undermine the way words can't capture this. I want to talk about how they do.

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we arrived in masks that shielded our cheeks but not our
smiles which glowed with white teeth and braces. 
the beginning of camaraderie that over years
bloomed into unstoppable laughter and was glued by
words. written and spoken and exchanged through novels 
which made us burn with wanderlust. 
travels to distant countries were woven on the beaches and rocks
of a frothing ocean, where we would bake in harsh sun only to soon jump
deep down into crisp saltwater that would later dry into 
white crustiness and flake off our skin and eyebrows. 
steaming tea followed by a side order of cuddles and
dishes of the latest news are how evenings begin and end.
grumpiness is allowed if it is allowed to be mocked and poked 
out of you soon after it commences. 
silence is acceptable, because as my favorite characters say
thirty minutes of comfortable silence is a sure sign of friendship.
adventures are not the only substance that compose 
this thing called kindredness, but rather a mutual reading of
each other's souls. life together has lately revealed a new
 discovery that growing up and plane tickets and school
are not not not our favorite chapter.
however this cord that connects and binds us so tightly
cannot be broken by a few measly miles because 
i love you girls. 
too much.

this is: a mad grasping at articulation during wee morning hours.


Where ocean meets sky.

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First, let's get something straight. Twig cigars are sort of my thing. Secondly, let's get one other thing straight. Photoshoots and friends and magical lighting are the best way to start the new year. How this new year arrived so quickly is beyond me, but it's the 5th already and I've hardly got so much as a new year's resolution to cling to. Thinking back on 2013 makes my head spin. I traveled more this year than I ever have in my life, both physically and emotionally. I suppose all I can hope for 2014 is to grow and do even more.

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In case you haven't noticed (though I highly doubt that's possible), my friends are models which is convenient since photoshoots are sort of our thing. The times when we pull out our DSLRs, our cute outfits, and chase after the golden setting sun are some of my favorite memories. We mostly end up laughing at how bad we are at keeping serious, or "oooohhing" and "ahhhhhing" at those shots that make you giddy, because they're even better than you anticipated after the initial shutter click.

So here I am trying to share a few glimpses into our time. Initially, I wanted to write a little descriptor about each of my lovely friends, but quickly realized what a silly and presumptuous idea it was. Each of these girls means too much to me to be put into a few measly sentences, so I shall refrain and instead let you gaze into their beautiful faces.

(That sounded a little creepier than anticipated, but I won't erase it for your enjoyment).

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P.S. A short life update. My journey back to school commences next week, a little too soon. However,  winter break has been such a magical time that I cannot complain, even after looking at my early morning school schedule.